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Neha Anand

Are we raising a generation of children with never ending list of gimmes

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The keywords in parenting now a days are immediate gratification and unmet demands.

Many years working as a psychological counsellor I have seen parents come to me with almost similar issues and concerns.They are fighting with a guilt and a hovering question in their mind... Are we failing as a parent ?

Reason behind most of the parents shower their children with everything they wish for. While their trip to supermarkets a very common battle which parents face is that they tend to give in to the demands of their children in order to avoid a scene or they don't want to get indulge into a debate. Sometimes they have a social fear or ego that if they deny these demands what people around would think.children are conditioned and reinforced by such kind of responses which is always in their favour. Reared on the concept of immediate gratification they can never learn the value of what they already own.

Yesterday a teen age boy came to me with thousands of questions which truely made his parents to put a question mark on their parenting style.He told that "since my childhood I always got what I wanted and now they are expecting me to change overnight which is quite unrealistic..they never said a no to me and now I get hurt when every time I hear it,whenever I asked my parents to play with me they got me a gadget to get engrossed or pay me expensive toys...this was the best substitute of their time and love for me".

The question arises why and how parents think their love can ever be substituted with any materialistic stuff. Why do they think saying a no to children is a big crime.children have to know their wallet is not bottomless.Every child in this fast pace life has to learn how to cope up with disappointments or else this would lead them to lack of coping skills and they would end up becoming a depressed adult in future.

~Dr.Neha Anand 

Honey Saluja

Happiness Is Your Own Business

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Don't worry.Be Happy. Your happiness is nobody else 's business.You are your own problem and also your own solution.

Happiness lies in your heart,captivated by others approval,appreciation,fear,greed,guilt, and low self esteem.Free it and Soar.

Happiness means loving yourself first.It comes within you,the way you think,feel and act.

Accept yourself with all your flaws.Self worth is essential for your happiness.If you don't respect yourself nobody else would.

You will never find a happy life.You will have to make it.

*Don't compare yourself to others.Love and accept yourself as you are.
*Associate your happiness with a goal,not with people or things.
*Forgive.It lessons the burden on your heart.
*Let go off the grudges.Let go off whatever you can't change.
*Stop worrying about loosing.Concentrate on gaining.
*Laugh at problems.Respond them with a positive mind.
*Stay a kid forever.
*Have faith.

Life is a journey. Make happiness your companion. Keep laughing, keep smiling because Happiness is your OWN BUSINESS.

Kavita Jaitly


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1. Be a consistent disciplinarian.

This is one of the hardest characteristics of a good parent. Children need boundaries and need to feel secure when you say no. They know where they stand, so even though they will push the limits of their parents' boundaries, hold fast and don't cave. This consistency will help mold your children's idea of what is fair. Both parents should be together on what is appropriate for their own children so when they try to pit parent against parent, (and they will) consistency will win out.

2. Remember the Golden Rule

Even if you are the disciplinarian, treating your children with kindness and patience will show compassion. In turn, they will treat others this way. Manners and politeness seem to be losing ground in child raising in our modern society, but it is an important part of preserving our culture. Asking permission to play with a neighbor's toy is much kinder than taking the toy without permission. It is a civilized world when we, as a people, can keep our manners intact by passing them on to the next generation.

3. Be available for talk time

This aspect of parenting is very important as it leaves communication open for children to receive adults' teaching about lessons in life or a listening ear for their concerns. It is vital that we listen to our children. They need someone to hear their opinions, and we need to reinforce our ideals. Talk time is very important for children of all ages, and we, as parents, must remember to talk even though we are tired or annoyed by life's trials.

4. Set a good example

All of what we do is copied by our children. What we say, how we treat others, how we dress and talk are all noticed even by the smallest of tots. They might not appear to be paying attention, but they are. Good behavior should always be reinforced at home. Remember, parents are a child's very first teacher,so setting a good example is very important. I know we are not perfect, but we have to keep trying to make good choices as parents so our children will make good choices as teenagers and adults.

5. Keep electronic entertainment to a minimum

Whether it's Xbox, television or online computer games, too much electronic entertainment makes children lazy. In most cases, children would prefer to be entertained by a screen than play outside or read a book.

According to a Kaiser Family Foundation survey, children in ages ranging from 8 to 18 years old spend an average of seven hours and 38 minutes per day using entertainment media. Most experts recommend limiting a child's use of electronics to not exceed more than two hours per day as life becomes distorted if left alone to their own devices. Instead, encourage your child to play outside, read a book or play a board game.

Trapti AN Tiwary

Rat Race Among students

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Is our education becoming a rat race? It's a very obvious question with an equally obvious answer. I would say yes! education indeed has become a rat

Indian parent often goad their childs to not grow up fast. Their childhood vanishes even before it is lived.

Every single parent want their child to be the best in the world, but they need to be reminded that every child is 'different' with different set of interest, after all there is no shoe that fits all sizes.

In order to fulfill their parents' dreams, students keep doing and learning things that they are least interested in, because that particular skill got success to some other individual. CAT, IIT or MBA entrance exam have become a national pastimes.Every student takes these exam and irony is that most of them are sure that they are not capable enough to crack them. And after putting all the hard work of months and years, if they didn't get the desired outcome they engulfed with the feeling of frustration and depression and in some extreme cases the chances of suicidal tendencies and drug addiction could possibly arise.

It's high time students should understand and respect their individuality and this goes same to the parents as well.Students should pursue only those interests which they are good at and try to excel in that and become capable of competing with the world. As they say, " The moment you think that some task is difficult, you are sure to interrupted by somebody doing it." So always follow your dreams without loosing your individuality and you are sure to achieve success. Good luck.


Neha Anand

Are we loosing our sense of reality

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Lately, I have come across with two new words which had no existence when we were teenagers... "Selfie" and "Nomophobia "

The million dollar question arises Have  we always been so narcissistic or is social media playing a crucial role in making us desire to be in the spotlight?We know number of people who is intent on capturing every waking moment with a duck-faced selfie. They even have that one specific expression set aside, ready to plaster it on in a whim the very second an iPhone is pulled out.Recently a poll revealed that 75%of Internet users use their phones even in the loo and spend longer time than average.And on an average if one is clicking 7-8 selfies a day and upload them on social networking sites they are considered obsessed.The American Psychological Association actually confirmed that taking selfies is a mental disorder, going as far as to term the condition “selfitis”. The APA has defines it as: “the obsessive compulsive desire to take photos of one’s self and post them on social media as a way to make up for the lack of self-esteem and to fill a gap in intimacy” !!!

"Nomophobia"is an increasing fear of being without a mobile phone. When the cell phone is not around people feel irritated,frustrated and anxious.Its a kind of separation anxiety. Recently , I got many cases where the parents were having a tough time with their teens as they used to readily get into anger and turned violent when they did not find their mobile phones around."These are the points to ponder and taking these things into account has become the need of the hour.The increasing sense of approval from others and goodie- goodie praiseworthy words are a sign of a hollowness, void and a vacuum in life.

We are missing the boat with every tick tock of a clock and the vision of colourful moments  of life are becoming hazy and artificial....

So if you find yourself snapping away and capturing life through the lens of your camera, STOP",THINK and add a new perspective.Work to minimize your social media presence, take in the best of life’s moments without the need to seek approval or commentary from others. Live your own life – don’t live before the eyes of others.😊👍🏻

Neha Anand

Psychological counsellor,

Adv. life coach

NLP master practitioner


Trapti AN Tiwary


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Healthy brains can maintain their original structure, but an aging brain is Drier and Smaller than a young brain. By the time you reach your seventies

The change in the size of your brain doesn’t cause pain, and you can’t feel it occur. And because the brain is encased in the skull, you can’t see these changes, either.The entire brain is surrounded by blood vessels that continuously nourish it. The ventricles, the areas beneath and around the brain, produces cerebrospinal fluid, that bathes, protect, and cushions it and moves all the way around the outside of the brain and the spinal cord. As the brain shrinks, the ventricles enlarge by filling the void with fluid. These enlarged ventricles may be the indication of brain shrinkage and are common finding in those suffering with Dementia.An Aging brain can affect our lives too. When our brain ages significantly, we may begin to feel or act differently. Some people notice that they feel tired all the time, either because their sleep disturbed or because they are simply always fatigued. And some feel more anxious and less motivated and sometimes mentally unable to leave home. They might feel more forgetful with lessoned ability or desire to plan, execute. Their attention may wander, along with their balance or hand -eye coordination. They might notice that things they used to do quickly are taking longer time. Changes in the brain can affect our weight, bone density, and muscular control. And it can make us look more and feel more older than our chronological age.

How to Reverse An Aging Brain: Enhancing brain health could be achieved through simple changes in lifestyle. These minute lifestyle changes can transform brain health to create a whole new destiny.The first step to better brain health is to have a good diet.

Here are some foods that can boost your brain health.

Curry, celery, broccoli, cauliflower and walnuts contain antioxidants and other compounds that protect your brain health and may even stimulate the production of new brain cells.

Healthy fats, blueberries, red meat, crab and garbanzo beans are also wonderful foods for brain health.

Avoiding sugar and carbohydrates, including gluten, also appears to be a fundamental factor in protecting your brain.

Reduce overall calorie consumption, including intermittent fasting.

The health of the brain is a result of all positive and negative impact we've encountered over the course of our lives. The negative aspects include poor health, physical injury and a poor diet. The truth is, some damage can be repaired if you start to take care of your brain long before you experience the symptoms of cognitive decline.We know that people have not lived perfect lives. We can't erase the past, we certainly don't want to. So the next step to better brain health is to take a deep breath and realize that you don't have to be perfect now, either.

References: Richard Carmona, MD, MPH, FACS, Seventeenth Surgeon General of the United States.  (A Groundbreaking Program for Improving your Memory, Concentration, Mood, and Overall Well-Being), Dr. Mercola ( What and What not to eat for healthy brain function).


Kavita Jaitly


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Exam stress can start when you feel you can't cope with revision, or feel pressure from your school or family.But bottling up stress and trying to dea

Tips for coping with stress:

write down your worries - then throw the paper away or give it to someone you trust 

use the Art box to draw a picture of how you want to feel or what you want to happen

go for a walk or do some exercise

listen to calming music

play a game to take your mind off your worries and stress for a bit

remember that everyone's different - try not to compare yourself to your friends.


When we feel anxious, we often give ourselves negative messages like: ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I’m useless’ and ‘I’m going to fail’.

You might have been predicted certain grades or put into a higher set, and feel if you don’t get the grade you’ll let your teachers or parents down.Remember, exams are important – but they’re not the only way to a successful future. Lots of people achieve success in life without doing well in school exams.


Remember, if you feel that you can’t cope with the pressure or are feeling stressed, find someone to talk to.

Don’t bottle it up! Try talking to:

your teachers 

your friends

a counsellor at Childline.


Neha Anand

What's my worth

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This morning started with this question when my first client " a full time Home maker"asked me " its very important to have a job professionally, isn'

I wake up in the morning, make lunch for my children, send them school, do utensils,cook again,send my husband to his office, wash clothes,and along with that doing all the extra chores which have hardly any significance. But I don't earn, I am just a housewife..!!!!

I ponder how many Indian woman are sailing in the same boat.when did women start thinking that their worth became equivalent to the chores they do or the amount they earn..?

There are different roles defined for each one and we have a legitimate right to choose our roles and duties,for instance rearing a child is a role which can be happily chosen by a female or a male,when   Did it became mandatory job for a female only.A woman is naturally blessed with abundant love, care and nurturing which makes her successful as a parent, a daughter,a wife or a friend but it never confines or limits her capability to choose a career. When a woman takes charge for her family and fulfil all the responsibilities it must be acknowledged by the entire family. The family and its members must pay gratitude for her efforts and love.Mere few magical words of acknowledgement and importance given to her decisions would help her increase the self satisfaction, self love and a sense of worth which sometimes get suppressed by getting rejection.

A woman is complete in her own ways. She is a foundation of this entire world and the upcoming generation. What kind of human race we want and how evolved our next generation would be is completely based on how a woman feels and what she  instills in a child. If she is juggling with worthlessness and dejection our next generation on this earth would be full of doubts, insecure and unstable.

Woman needs to change the way she feels .she is strong...she is the source of life in this earth which can never be equivalent to any other job and can never be compared with anyone under the sun.


Dr.Neha Anand


Psychological counsellor



Trapti AN Tiwary

Power Of Our Thoughts

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Our thoughts are indeed very powerful.The thoughts that pass through our mind are responsible for everything that happens in our lives.

The best comforting thought that wipes out all the fear of the failure and allows one to wake up each morning with confidence is, "Only the best and the good lies before me."

To master our own destiny we should always keep those thoughts in our mind that makes us feel happy about ourselves and about our lives. We should always make those choices that help us in trusting our lives. And by trusting our lives, i simply mean, life will definitely bring us what we need to grow. I have always been a firm beliver that there is a universal energy which works in cooperation with our thoughts, words and actions to generate our life experiences.

In our life all of us must have encountered with so many unpleasant experiences. Some of them are so traumatic that they shake ourselves in such a way that we bound to think, we are at a dead end now and nothing has been left anymore but if we try to down our attention to a positive aspect of that particular experience then we come to know that it isn't a dead end......in fact, it's a door which needed to be closed in order to move towards the next step on our lives' pathways.

Hence, if we are willing to change our thinking, we can change our lives.

'Everything is perfect', it's a simple perspective which needs to be understand and if we do so, we come to know that while we might not like a certain outcome, life is surely leading us in a new and more appropriate direction. So always trust life and think that everything happens for a reason.


Kavita Jaitly

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A few weeks ago, I had attended a birthday party of my daughter’s friend. There they played a game, the age old ‘Passing the parcel’, however, w

She said – “I do not like kids to be disappointed. See, here every child is happy as he or she gets to take a gift home.”

In another instance, I was in the park with my daughter. She was playing lock and key with her friends. Now, one of her friends fell down. Her mother, who was on the other side of the park ran to his son, all confused and upset. She scooped her son in her lap and started inquiring – “Are you hurt? Let me see! Do no cry! Shush, mama is here.”

The child, had a scraped knee, who was perfectly OK till then, started crying earnestly.

I was at a friend’s home for lunch. Her 5-year old daughter refused to eat what was cooked for lunch. My friends felt so guilty that her daughter would go hungry, that she cooked up her favourite pasta immediately. According to her, it was not the first time this had happened.

At the School Sports Day, there are no races, no competition. No first, second or runner ups. Because, everyone is equal, there should be no competition between the kids.

Kids today have a room full of toys and games. Some they ask, some they do not. But, they still get them. Everything in excess is the new mantra of life.

Our parents taught us self-reliance, while we hover around our children and want to protect them at all costs. We like to hold our babies closer to the protection of the nest. We go out of our way and rustle up something when they don’t eat what’s cooked at home for everyone else, because we don’t them to sleep hungry. Instead of letting them play outside, we organize activities for them. We do their homework and their assignments. We even resolve their conflicts for them.

It makes me wonder, what will happen to these kids when they grow up?

Will they get a gift everytime they fail? Will they be able to handle disappointment? A child who has never been denied anything, how will he cope with rejections? There are a growing number of cases when kids run away from home or commit suicide because they are not able to deal with low marks in examinations or when they fail to secure an admission in an institution of their choice.

Will their parents keep them hidden in their bosom all their life? Our mothers never ran after us, a scraped knee was just that. She would ask us to wash it with some water and then forget about it. But, there was no drama that followed. Falling and hurting was a part of daily life for us. We cycled, climbed up trees and jumped from the stairs. Today, kids travel in elevators and escalators (because they might fall down the stairs and get themselves hurt). Earlier, kids walked and cycled. I hardly see kids walking nowadays, unless it’s for a kids’ marathon and they are required to pose for selfies with their cool mommies. I never see kids climbing up the monkey bars, do you?

Will they shy away from competition or be able to survive it? OK, so we can accompany our kids till the college gate and sit in the waiting area while they appear for a job interview. In one-child China, parents have been known to put up tents outside their college kids’ dorms. This is an invisible umbilical cord we are just not ready to cut. And, what happens after that? A child who is never used to losing – how will he survive in the big bad world?

We are raising our kids to be adult babies.

So what should we do?

Stop telling our children that they are special all the time. They are not, at least not always. So reserve the praises for the times when they actually deserve.

Stop going out of the way to create happiness in their life. The life is a mix of joys and sorrows, and it is for a reason. We have no right to interfere with the nature. So let’s stop pretending that everything is all right when it’s not. Let the kids have their fair share of disappointments at an early age. It’s better to fall at 10, than at 40.

Stop giving them things when they don’t require it. We had fewer toys, but did we ever complain? Were we unhappy because of that? No, right. So why are we teaching our kids to be materialistic? Why should they find happiness in toys and games, and not people? We give them iPads, iPhones…we are teaching them it’s all right to speak to the technology, rather than people. Today’s kids have more virtual friends than actual friends.

Stop hovering around them. Let them take action and be responsible for it. If they have done a wrong deed, they should take the punishment or the consequences for it. Do not protect them unnecessarily.

Let them fall. And, do not cushion their fall. Also, let them get up on their own. Only when they fall, will they get up. Let them learn things on their own.

Stop feeling guilty. For things we can’t provide them. We are the parents, not superhumans or Gods. Make kids understand our limitations.

It’s not the kids who are at fault, but us, the parents. Let’s sit with our parents and understand how they raised us – independent and fearless. We can take a leaf or two from  their parenting book. It wouldn’t do us any harm, but might save our kids!


Neha Anand

Are we preparing an emotionless robotic generation

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Time and again sitting in my cabin while conducting parenting sessions I realise it's that time again when parenting has to enter in epoch or era of m

I see children and teens are increasingly becoming more apathetic,prone to rages, moody,depressed, rude, mechanical, materialistic and more like emotionless robots who are just confined to their gratification of desires, their own space ,their gadgets and ofcourse their limited frame of references. There was a time when parents were worshiped like  Gods.The Gurukul system made all the children realise the values of hard work, respect, empathy, compassion, acceptance and equality. Similarly at home  these values were imprinted and engraved in their mind so deeply and intensely that they could never imagine their being without such core values.Parents were always modelled by their children and so as such values were being carried over generation after generation.. I won't say modelling theory has ever been changed, even now parents are being modelled but in what ways that's a big question. The hurricane impatient life being lived by parents which drives them crazy is shaping their children the same way.Parents hardly have time to listen to their children as most of the times they think children talk irrelevant which is simply going to waste their time and energy but they forget children are bombarded with millions of information which they decider and interpret in their own ways and then their talks have various clues as what they learned or how they are going to project it in their behaviours. The life with the excessive use of technology has taken over the time which used to be spent with children.I have seen parents who talk with their children just about their chores and needs and as a result they get a set of mechanical and demanding children.They become emotionless when it comes to feel the emotions and expectations of their parents in later stages.They become more lazy, lethargic and distressed as they find no way out to express and vent out due to lack of trust and bond with their parents. We can say they are more" wired and tired".

My point is who has to change, who has to open the gateways of evolution and who can brought up healthy and balanced children with high morals and values??

Points to ponder !!!!

Dr.Neha Anand

Consultant psychological counsellor, psychotherapist,

Adv. life coach and NLP master practitioner.


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